we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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