she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
