Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
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he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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