I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
