that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
