Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize