when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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