Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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