My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
