shes about as inviting as chlamydia
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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