Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
