Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
