how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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