No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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