why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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