I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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