Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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