She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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