i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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