what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
