You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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