Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
