it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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