absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
