whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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