census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
