I looked at my own cervix.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
third nipple confirmed
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
