pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
