i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
