By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize