I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
