A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize