is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize