did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
