dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
