I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Randomize
