Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize