like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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