Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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