she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
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I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
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He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize