I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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