hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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