if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
