How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize