Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
