tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
