I think I am morally bankrupt
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
