The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
