well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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