i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son