Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.