Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
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wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
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Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
