I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
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Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
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He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.