First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
