in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize