Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
