This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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