I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
