Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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