she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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