It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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