if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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