this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
