there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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