Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
