Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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