garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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