We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
